The Ins and Outs

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One of the biggest mysteries of the modern age, now that more and more of of us are out and proud, is what the hell it is that two women do in bed together?

Queen Victoria didn't help matters when she refused to believe lesbians existed. Her view was that women didn't have the equipment with which to do anything sexual together. Oh how wrong she was...!

Research shows that regular sex can make you feel and look healthier, substantially lower your stress and anxiety level and also helps you burn off more than 100 calories per hour.

Probably one of the best things about two women having sex together is that you are blessed with a better understanding of each other's bodies and therefore generally you both know what feels good.

Begin with lots of kissing, stroking and teasing. Remember to take your time with the kissing as it can be really sensual and stimulating. Think about what you're doing and what you would like done to you. Soft and slow or hard and fast - explore each other's mouths, licking and sucking gently and vigorously - once you've found a rhythm, you may find the hours fly by as you lose all track of time!

Foreplay makes any sexual touch much more pleasurable as it builds your sexual excitement and fills your vaginal and clitoral areas with blood. Touching and massaging each other's breasts, biting, sucking or pinching nipples, sexy squeezes of her arse - all will get you both aroused.

You can also intensify your partner's pleasure by gliding your hands all over her body, and combine this with licking and sucking her nipples and lots of deep passionate kissing.

Then of course there are the joys of cunnilingus or oral sex...

The most important thing here is again to relax, take it slow, try not to worry or feel anxious and intimidated - this can be one of the best sexual experiences for both giver and receiver. Sucking and licking the clitoris, vagina and vulva can feel amazing for both, particularly if you're both doing it to each other at the same time!

In terms of technique there are all sorts of theories out there about what feels good. Experiment - you'll soon know from her physical and vocal responses if you're hitting the spot.

So what about penetration? Oral, vaginal, anal - some women like it and some women don't. Communicate with your partner - find out likes and dislikes. Penetrating your lover's vagina with your fingers can be a wonderful, intimate and not to mention mind-blowing experience.

Curling your fingers towards you in a beckoning motion once inside her can stimulate the G-spot on the front wall of her vagina. If you want to penetrate the anus, do it very slowly with loads and loads of lubricant. And if using your fingers, always keep your nails clean and short.

There's a huge range of dildos out there and plenty of female friendly shops to talk you through the process of buying your first "friend"! The fabulousness of handsfree fucking cannot be underestimated! It can take a bit of practice but who's complaining?!

Remember sex doesn't have to be all about the orgasm. Sex is meant to be fun.

If you find you are not having fun because you're constantly worrying about you and your partner not climaxing, you are just putting an immense amount of pressure on yourself and may not reach orgasm.

It's time to let go. Let you thoughts and worries disappear and focus on your mind on the amazing feeling between the two of you.

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to sex. Just explore each other about what feels good, don't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do or feel uncomfortable with, and be safe.